I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She's the barista slut.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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