Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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