I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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