i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
