I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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