okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
