I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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