I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
