Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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