...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
