He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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