We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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