So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
two words...techno handjob
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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