And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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