were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
