Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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