also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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