fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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