Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
