What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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