Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober