I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.