he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures