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• (214): View more from Texas

  In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

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• (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children

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  These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what? who is this?

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• (858): View more from California

  Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!

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• (315): View more from New York

  The second I see you we're shot gunning beers

  (1-315): View more from New York

  It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning

  (315): View more from New York

  And your point is?

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Marry me

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• 

  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  Don't make emojis simulating eating me out

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Oh. So it is a cult

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.

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