I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample