It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.