That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
