Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
