ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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