I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
