i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
