so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There are leaves in my underwear?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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