do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
