I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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