oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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