Nicole vs. Life
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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