dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
