You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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