so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
