Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
