I smell stomach acid.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
