i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
