Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.

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(816): View more from Missouri

My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(636): View more from Missouri

So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand

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(503): View more from Oregon

He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...

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