giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
