I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
