My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
