Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
