Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
