Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
