I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
