I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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