Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
