It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize