If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
