I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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