I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
