Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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