On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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