theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
