I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
