You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm at about main and main street
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
