i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
