I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
