Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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