First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
