How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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