if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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