another moral hangover. fuck.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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