i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
