I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
